28 Feb 15:02
3 years ago
♥ 39 notes

ANDY:  Do you ever do anything for anybody other than yourself?
JESSICA:  Well, I don’t do official charity, but I do the little things.  Like smiling.  Or saying hello to people.
ANDY:  Exactly, or like when there’s that sign “Take a penny, give a penny”, sometimes I don’t take a penny.
JESSICA:  Look anyone can do the big showoff-y charity stuff but it’s people like you and me who do the little things that nobody notices, and probably don’t even benefit from, who are the real heroes.
10 Nov 17:15
4 years ago
♥ 7 notes

Andy’s voice over: We all had to spend the weekend in sensitivity training.  Jessica blamed me.  
Andy: Is that coffee?  I didn’t see coffee.
[throws coffee in his face]
Jessica: Do you see it now!?
Andy: MY EYES!
Jessica: Look who’s sensitive all of a sudden.

Andy Richter Controls the Universe 2x01 - We’re All The Same, Only Different
20 Sep 15:23
5 years ago
♥ 9 notes

Look Conan, I promise you this is the last time you’re going to hurt me.  I’m warning you.  I’m a raging storm of unrequited love, a tempest of rightous fury.  I will pummel you like hailstones on a Honda.